Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I Gotta Fart, So I'm Gonna Come Over And Stand Next To You

Twenty-Five Random Things You May Or May Not Know About Me.

Like my most influential albums composite, this is another list I’ve wanted to jot down for a while. My good friend Ed (the master of flavor and texture) came up with his list a few months ago, and I meant to respond to it, but had a hard time coming up with enough things. So in my time off, I’ve finally completed it. Here goes…

1. My sister is my best friend and the most important person in my life. Fuck with her, you die.

2. If I were only allowed to wear one shirt for the rest of my life, it would be my “Outback Steakhouse All-Stars” T-shirt.

3. I still collect CDs. Nothing can replace the excitement, fighting through the plastic wrap to see the album artwork for the first time.

4. I don’t believe in reincarnation. If I’m wrong, in my past life, I believe I was a grizzly bear.

5. I fall in love really easily, but falling out, not so much. I get my heart broken often.

6. I have very few friends from childhood. I’ve left most of them behind. I don’t miss them, but I do thank them for all I’ve learned from them and the good times we had.

7. My favorite food is pierogies. My second favorite is my grandmother’s meatballs, which my cousin Shawn and I compete to see who can eat the most. I always win.

8. Music is what powers my life. It’s moves me more than any other force on earth.

9. I’ve been in one real fight in my life, and got my ass kicked.

10. I collect key-chains from all over the world. My favorite is from Japan.

11. I have a good friend from college named Charles Charlesworth. Seriously.

12. I never lie and have a bad habit of being too honest. It messes things up more than you think.

13. I love crappy TV dramas, and I don’t care you all think they’re awful.

14. I have a fear that if someone touches my belly button, it will become untied and all my guts will spill out.

15. Running is my meditation. There is nothing that helps me unwind more than a nice five-mile run.

16. I celebrate my birthday for twenty days. July Fourth begins my “birthday season”.

17. Is scared of going bald, mostly because I look like a tool with short hair.

18. I’m not really all that concerned with the future. I know what’s going to happen. The adventure lies in how I get there.

19. I accomplish more when people tell me I CAN’T do something. I love being the underdog.

20. My favorite TV shows as a kid were The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy.

21. I've never had a problem which either PBR, great friends, or a good concert couldn't solve.

22. I hate being alone; it makes me uncomfortable. I thrive through my relationships with others.

23. I don’t remember anything before the age of fourteen except kissing a girl in kindergarten and about ten minutes of my first day of first grade.

24. I am a detail-oriented person, yet the biggest decisions of my life have been made on a whim.

25. After twenty-eight years, I am finally comfortable in my own body, truly believe I have completely discovered myself, know exactly what I stand for and believe in, and am very proud of the person I’ve become. I can’t wait to share this with somebody special.

If a leader preaches worship to the sheep within the valley, who'll be riding in a tank that says "just married"?...

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