All Day I Dream About Sex

Growing up attending Catholic school, I obviously received no professional sexual education. That is, unless you count a priest teaching young boys about jerking off in the shower (“If the fluid of life comes out, just enjoy the feeling”). During the winter months in grade school we did have a few health classes, which tried to introduce our young minds to reproductive organs, however we were never taught the proper way to use their organs or keep them in perfect working order. In such a repressive environment, where you have children revolting at a younger age, you need to explain that kind of thing.

It’s 2011, and now my generation is getting older, and having kids of our own. We know kids will do whatever they want no matter what you instruct them to do. Instead of just drilling it into young minds premarital sex is wrong and you’re going to hell if you do it, tell them premarital sex is not a bad thing, but rather something you should wait on until you're older, and can make rational decisions, allowing time for their hormonal, developing teenage minds time to mature. Maybe that would've prevented some of my classmates from being parents before their high school graduation. (Also, premarital sex is obsolete. It's a term that only exists in the fictional world of religion.)

Luckily, Answer and Rutgers University decided to take matters into their own hands. Sex, Etc. is “sex education for teens, by teens”. According to the website:

Sex, Etc. is on a mission to improve teen sexual health across the country! Each year, five million young people visit Sexetc.org, and over 45,000 read our national magazine to get honest and accurate sexual health information. We've helped teens with answers to their questions about sex, relationships, pregnancy, STDs, birth control, sexual orientation and more!

Sexetc.org features 17 topic areas plus the following sections

• Stories written by teen staff writers and national contributors.
• Your Voice, Your Rights, which gives teens the opportunity to create a profile, share stories about sexuality education in their schools and speak up for the sex ed they want, need and deserve.
• “Take Action,” which gives teens the tools to advocate for comprehensive sex ed in their schools and communities.
• The Sex, Etc. blog—Beyond the Birds and the Bees—which addresses timely sexual health issues that are relevant to teens.
• Forums where teens can participate in moderated discussions with other teens.
• "Sex in the States," which is a state-by-state guide to teens' rights to sex education, birth control and more.
• Videos about sexual health.
• A Sex Terms glossary of more than 400 terms
• A mobile site that can be accessed on any phone with Internet access. It contains all of our FAQs, Sex Terms and Sex in the States information.

I was introduced to Sex, Etc. on this year’s Take Action! Tour. The tour’s proceeds are being donated to support the sex education movement and Sex, Etc. People are finally realizing the importance of instructing teens and young adults about being safe and realizing the consequences of their actions when it comes to safe sex. They’re no longer leaving the burden to be carried by lazy school systems and embarrassed parents. Sex, Etc. is giving teenagers a comfortable environment to go and discuss this new territory with their peers.

I find it unnerving to think in this day and age where sex is everywhere, there are still pockets of the country teaching abstinence as the only option. Teenage minds are constantly learning, exploring, and compiling information on the world, including being curious about their adolescent bodies. It’s inspirational to see a group like Sex, Etc. taking it upon themselves to not only give teens a place to go, helping them understand their curiosity, but also a space containing a lot of their sought-after answers.

And if parents don’t want to rely on a website and fellow teens to educate their children on proper sexual instruction and culture, maybe they’ll finally grow some balls, stop being so shy and self-conscious about it, and educate their kids their damn selves.

Shock and dismay, they affect what we say… We should bite our tongues, we should bite our tongues… 'Cause after all, it's only our lives anyway...

The Sweetest Place On Earth

When did Central Pennsylvania become a hotbed for underground music? I remember going to see a few shows in small, makeshift venues growing up (i.e. Godsmack in the City Island lawn-mower garage), but nothing like the sort of underground, independent post-hardcore shows I began attending once I moved to Philly. Hershey, Harrisburg, Lancaster; we were never at a loss for live shows to attend, but recently it seems more and more awesome bands are starting to come out of the area (and surroundings) I grew up in. I mean, we had LIVE and Fuel (meh, I know) who came from our hometowns, but nothing of the sort of music I have grown to love and adore. Please check out some of the awesome acts which have been forming the last few years.

BALANCE AND COMPOSURE - Doylestown, PA

Neighbors of one of my favorite bands, Circa Survive, Balance and Composure have been fighting to fill the hand-me-down shoes of bands like Brand New and mewithoutYou. Their most recent release, "Separation" finally solidifies this group with a voice their own, and leaves them equals with their forefathers.

TIGERS JAW - Scranton, PA

There's more to Scranton, Pennsylvania than Michael Scott and Royal's swimming fans (4-1-4 what's up!!!). While a lot of indie rock bands are striving to be weirder and more out there, Tigers Jaw are doing exactly the opposite: they're writing classic, catchy songs, reminiscent of their late '90s influences.

KOJI - Harrisburg, PA

Hailing from the 7-1-7, Andrew "Koji" Shiraki grew up screaming his lungs out fronting several post-hardcore outfits around central PA. Now, at age 24, he realized it's not how loud you scream, but what you say that holds the most water. Still retaining social justice and politics as themes in his lyrics, he's using his music to inspire both inner peace as well as build a new peace in the world around him.

KOJI - Giants Sleeping from If You Make It on Vimeo.

TEXAS IN JULY - Ephrata, PA

I recently had the pleasure of catching Texas In July killing it as the first opening act on this years Take Action! Tour in support of Silverstein and Bayside. Carrying on the metalcore torch, TIJ aren't tackling any new ground, but instead, bringing small town aesthetic to it. There are a few risky (and risque, me-yow) moments on the band's full-length debut being released on Equal Vision later this year. Still, fans of metal both old and new will certainly enjoy Texas In July for years to come.

AUGUST BURNS RED - Lancaster, PA

Most of you probably remember August Burns Red from the adorable video of Charlie playing drums to "The Eleventh Hour". What you might not realize is ABR has been tearing apart the metal scene for eight years, leaving few survivors in their wake. They are known for the ability to weave flowing melody in with incredibly brutal breakdowns and off-meter riffs.

There you go folks. Listen and enjoy.

The day is soon coming when turning your back won't be an option...

Change Is A Sound

I’ve been writing a lot about change over the last few months. The biggest reason is because over the last year I’ve been beginning to feel different. I’m starting to notice more about the world around me, feeling more grown up, but still keeping the “youth” aspect my family is known.

Change in a necessity in life; it helps people grow and become better people. If we always stayed the same, we’d run the grave risk of growing stagnant and uninteresting. I like when I notice a change in me, both positive and negative. Negative changes are obviously, not a good thing, but seeing these downward movements can often times lead to positive changes as well.

Geoff Rickly recently wrote about how the way he write lyrics has changed since he has grown up:

…I'm not a kid anymore and I don't think in the same ways that I used to. I don't push the band to go faster, use stranger time signatures or thrash harder. I write songs that turn inward now. Songs that rely on subtlety. Songs that are meant for headphones and car stereos. Songs that are experienced by one person at a time. Even when these songs are played in front of a crowd, everyone in the room will be listening to them alone.

Obviously, I’m not musician, but it’s weirdly comforting to see someone I not only look up to, but also consider one of my peers going through similar changes himself. I don’t have the musical platform he does to show off his growth and maturity and evolution. Personally, when I feel different, I like to make myself different. I get bored with who I look at in the mirror. I’m quickly approaching thirty, and I know I don’t want to hit July twenty-four with the same body I’ve had the last few years.

It’s time for a tattoo.

For me, as with most, tattoos hold personal meaning to the person who is getting their flesh altered. I like to take it one literal step forward: despite whatever the story is behind the artwork, the new addition acts as a reminder that at this moment in time, I am a different person. I am permanently changing who I am physically because internally I’m not the same Mallick who you hung out with last year. It’s an eternal timeline reflecting how many times I’ve gone through major transformations.

It’s almost an instinct when the times comes; my skin begins to itch, but it’s a bit stronger than the normal tattoo craving we are all warned about.

The world and it’s people are in a contact state of flux and you hope it’s moving in a positive direction, no matter what it make look like during the different stages of existence. Sometimes you notice these adjustments; the earth is forever altered. Sometimes its something so small it doesn’t have any noticeable effect; the person sports a newfound smile they only know the reason behind. I know when I begin to make a new impression and begin writing a new chapter in my life, I like to title page to have some nice artwork on it.

Reaching out for something, but we dunno what we need… As time slowly passes by, grey hair appears behind your eyes…