Talking 'Bout My Generation

First and foremost, I would like offer up my sincerest congratulations to Barack Obama on not only winning the 2008 presidential election, but also on his induction ceremony today.  I made sure to wake up early (as in early, I mean 8:00 AM) and watch the processional, the oaths, and his inspirational acceptance speech.  After the last eight years I’ve endured, and surprised I made it thru (albeit by the skin of my teeth), I’m a big fan of moving this country and it’s citizens forward using hope rather than fear. 

It’s exciting.  Watching him this evening at the Neighborhood Ball, during the first dance I thought to myself, “Wow, this is our president.”  Not only do I feel a sense of pride again to be an American, but I can’t wait to see what his administration has in store for our nation.  Just seeing someone who is more of the people than looking down on the people, someone who looks more like us, who dances like us, has a little swagger watching Jay-Z perform on stage, it’s refreshing to see a different kind of president. 

I don’t think Obama’s going to be a superhero of any sort, as I feel some people are making him to be.  This isn’t the second coming of some deity.  I wish him the best of luck, and I have a good idea he is going to do right by us. 

Anyway, I don’t want to preach too much.  Don’t want to turn away any loyal readers.

Okay… Maybe I will preach a bit. WE DID IT!!! Thanks to all the Obama supporters who realized what this country needed in a leader and made the choice to elect the right man for the job.

The next topic I want to touch on is the newly released list of the most evil sins a member of the Christian religion can commit.  If you are unaware of this list, let me bring you up to speed.  The Catholic Church released a list of five sins, which are so dubious, and wrong, the only person who can reconcile these sins is the pope himself.  The hand of the big man himself owns the power.  This list was written in 1179 A.D. (I believe, don’t hold me to that, History wasn’t my strongest subject) and it has been kept in vault until this day.  From what I read, the church wanted to entice more people into the golden arches.  No, not those golden arches, like the golden arches of churches.  They have those, right?  I haven’t been there in a while. 

Anyway, in a minor specific order, here are the five most sinful sins of all time.

 

5). Participating in an abortion, and then trying to become a priest.

So… okay.  First, did they really have abortion in 1179?  And if they did, holy shit, that must have been the most horrible thing ever.  What they hell did they use for the operation?  I don’t want to think about it. 

Second, from what I can understand, if at some point in your life, you at the very least drove a girl to the library down the street and let her walk the rest of the way, and then somewhere down the line you (the male) decide you want to become a priest, you have to get the pope to absolve you.  Okay.  Just making sure I understand.  Next…

 

4).  A priest breaking the seal and privacy of the confessional.

I get this one.  Doctor-patient confidentiality.  If a priest hears a confession, and discusses what went on in there to anyone, he must go to the pope to ask for forgiveness.  I can follow you on that one.

 

3). If you have sex with a priest, he cannot forgive you. 

I’m leaving all the little altar boy jokes of this for the sake of my parents.  There are plenty of upstanding clergymen out there.

(Although, I thought it was funny the other night when The Hotel Staff was discussing this list (intellectuals, I know this) and a certain roommate told about how when he was an altar boy growing up, two boys who were younger than him got molested.  He didn’t, and he wondered if the priest didn’t think he was cute enough or something.  Dude, that’s messed up.  You’re fucked up enough without that.  Consider it a blessing from above it never happened to you.) 

For this one, I think it’s the priest who should be going to confession.  He took the vow of celibacy, if he makes the mistake, shouldn’t he kneel down before the almighty and apologize?  People make mistakes.  I’ve made plenty.  And maybe hitting on a priest is a big one, but for him to give in to that temptation I feel is WAY worse than making a pass.  It’s like adultery, it’s worse for the person who’s married than the person who is the mistress.  The married person is breaking the sacred vow.

 

2). Attempting to assassinate the pope.

Yeh, this one is bad.  I think if you try to assassinate anyone you should have be forgiven by the pope.  This is one confessional I’d love to be a fly on the wall for.  I mean, I guess the pope has to forgive you if you’re truly sorry.  Although, it might not be such a good idea to leave these two people in the same room, alone, together.  Which leaves us with…

 

1).  Defiling the Eucharist.

For those of you who don’t know, let me school you a bit.  The Catholic people believe that during the sacrament of Holy Communion, the little wafer the priest holds is blessed and becomes the official body of Jesus Christ a.k.a. the Eucharist.  Now, I know what you’re all thinking, wouldn’t that make this a cannibalistic religion.  No, because it’s more about what the mini-Ritz cracker represents; Jesus dying for our sins and all that.  

Now, after reading #2, wouldn’t you think that actually being successful in your attempt to assassinate the pope, calling for his successor to offer his forgiveness, be #1?  Technically, I can kill a man, chop him up, send his severed parts to the far corners of the earth, and then step into a confessional for a priest to give me the obligatory fifteen Hail Maries and all is right with the world, but if I mess with some bread, I have to fly to the Vatican to be forgiven.  Okay, whatever.  I don’t mean to judge, but let me share a little story with you:

When I was, I think eleven or so, I got caught playing with pre-blessed Eucharist along with a few other classmates.  We were using them as Frisbees, seeing how many we could fit in our mouth standing one of top of another, things of that sort.  We were all altar boys, and we were having fun being bad.  One of the guys sold the rest of us out (I think it was Chris Dill, that little bitch didn’t like me much in grade school, too cool I guess).  I got detention, and my dad made me tell the priest, which I did, and he forgave me. 

However, according to this ancient edict from 1179, said priest did not wield the holiest of power to forgive me.  I think participating in the Catholic version of the Saltine Challenge qualifies as defiling the Eucharist.  And I hate to say it, but in some twisted way, I feel privileged to have committed the most evil sin of all time, in the Church’s eyes. 

In my eyes, who gives a shit?  I was a kid.  I don’t know any better.  I was having fun with my friends.  And I don’t believe any of that Catholic religion mumbo-jumbo anyway, sins be damned.

As you know, I was a Catholic until I reached the age of reason (love you GC).  I don’t really see a point in religion anymore, for myself anyway.  Don’t really believe in a supreme being, although I feel as a planet, we are all connected in some way.  But if I was religious, why would I want to participate in a religion that tells you more things you can do wrong than ways to enjoy all their supposed god created?  It’s like, “Hey, guess what, all that fun you’re having, it’s wrong.  It says so right here in this book.  Oh, it’s not in the book.  Well, some old dude who is fallible (nice religious word) with a tall white hat told me it was wrong.  So, there.  Want a cracker?”

That was a little much.  If religion helps you in your every day life, more power to you.  Just remember: Religion is merely a path to discover the truth.  Once you find that truth (which is different for everyone), religion is no longer necessary.

Now that my little bitch session is over, I want to mention one last thing.  My heart goes out to a dear friend who is stuck in the great white north: Andrea Wasse.  While she was making her way back across the border after her Xmas holiday, she got the random check pulled on her and got deported back across to London, Ontario, where she’s been since mid-December, enjoying the sub-freezing temperatures and lack of income.  Not sure when she’ll be back, but everyone here in LA misses her and we are all jealous that she’s in nice and cool while we are stuck here in this heat waves that is southern California.  Bummer.

Have a great 2009 everyone… My first yoga dance class is Thursday.  Wish me luck and public embarrassment.

So if we carry on this way, things are better if I stay.  So long and good night… So long and good night…

My Favorite Albums Of 2008

I love music.  I loooooooove music.  And every year I like to share my opinion as to which albums really took my eardrums for a romp over the previous twelve months. I listened and purchased a lot.  I think almost a grand worth of new discs.  Now, as much music as I got my hands on, there is so much more I sadly let slip by.  Still need the new Bronx, I heard The Mars Volta’s “Bedlam In Goliath” is killer, and how do I still not have Bayside’s newest edition.  Anyway, in no specific order, here is my list:

Atmosphere – “When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold”

Flobots – “Fight With Tools”

Phantom Planet – “Raise The Dead”

United Nations – “United Nations”

Portugal. The Man – “Censored Colors”

Good Old War – “Only Way To Be Alone”

The Sound Of Animals Fighting – “The Ocean And The Sun”

She And Him – “Volume One”

The other tradition I have is to choose my favorite album of the year.  I sit down and listen to each album from start to finish.  After careful deliberation I decide which piece of aural beauty took complete control of my emotions. 

My gut reaction was to go with “Raise The Dead” because after my initial listen earlier this year, my first thought was, “This is the best album I’ve heard in a long time.  It’s already my choice for best album.  It’s simply amazing.” (Or something to that effect, it was probably a little more blue collar than that.) But, I decided to play fair and I listened to each album again from start to finish.  This year I had to listen to each twice. 

I had it narrowed down to four, but it doesn’t seem fair to toss out half of the honorees if they really aren’t “less great” than the rest.  And after a very careful deliberation and a strong mental battle of the bands, I deduced I couldn’t choose one above the rest.

This year I am concluding my search for my favorite album in this way:  THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY AMAZING ALBUMS. 

Go take a listen to all; I hope you discover every bit of enjoyment as I do. 

Just take me back to warmer times, where I know everybody needs me…

All Will Be Fine In '09

I did pretty well in 2008 with my New Year’s resolution.  Actually, I’m damn proud of myself.  I made it my priority to eat healthier and get back into some semblance of good shape.  I lost thirty-five pounds and have been eating a lot better.  That was pretty much the long and short of my entire resolution, for me it was a big deal, and pretty difficult: cutting out a lot of food I enjoyed, and having to bust my ass with workouts every free moment I had. 

This year I am going to add a few more things to my repertoire.  I think I can handle the pressure.

1) Get my diet back into gear.

Since going back to Parental Control, my workouts have suffered a bit.  Up until September, I was working out a good five to six times a week.  That has slipped to only around four, and a very sporadic four, like four days straight, then three days off.  It’s bad.  So first resolution this year is to get back to where I was a few months ago and lose the ten pounds I put back on, and get back to a solid work out routine.

2) Record a song/EP.

Over the last year, I’ve made some great friends who are extremely musically inclined.  I consider myself to be a very creative person, and I love to write, so why not challenge myself to write in a new medium.  I’ve also loved performing; more-so just love being the center of attention.  The critic will hopefully put something out in the world to be critiqued.  Kinda like The Kinky Wizards.

3) Keep in touch with friends more.

This is something I’ve really bad at.  I am not good at keeping in touch.  My great friend Jacob from home had his first kid back in September, and the first time we talked about it was over Xmas.  He was too busy to hang out (b/c of his kid, and his wife Courtney was tired) which is a bummer because I only get to see him once a year.  We both agreed to do a better job at keeping in touch.  I am going to try to keep in touch with a couple more of my friends from home.  Even though I am outta sight, it doesn’t mean I should stay out of mind until I make my way back to the East Coast. 

4)  Ask Zooey Deschanel out on a date.

Don’t worry.  I have a plan.

I think I have a good strategy for the new year.  Some personal growth, healthier living, and a sparking of new creative outlets.  And hopefully a hot date. 

Happy New Year everybody. 

I am just sitting on the shelf…