A Definitive Guide To Farting In The Shower

Sorry I've been MIA for a bit. I've been in Tempe, Arizona following around the Tempe12 girls for a docu-reality show. They are all amazing girls who I am getting to know very well, and I hope when the times comes you will watch the show. To at least give you something to read, and assure you I am not dead, check out another amazing post from one of my favorite writers/bloggers, Riley Breckenridge:

Hello, Friends. We’d like to take this opportunity to share a secret with you.

Noted physicians and scientists have mastered the art of farting in the shower.

And we’re not just talking about “farting” as you’re used to it. We’re talking about making the most of your farts, and using advanced techniques to create a shower farting experience that will be so wonderfully rewarding and productive that you’ll surprise yourself, your family, your friends, and the World.

We know, we know, you’re saying to yourself, “Finally! I knew it could be done! Do tell, do tell!”

We’re about to.

You are so very welcome.

TECHNIQUE:
1. Turn the water on. The water is essentially the valve piston of your butt trumpet or the mod wheel on your synthesizer, if you will.

2. Lather up. This is like a compressor. It makes the peaks and valley of your performance a little more consistent, and we all know that “consistency is important”.

3. Turn your back to the shower head so that the water flow is hitting you on the upper butt/lower back area.

4. Do a quarter squat and place your hands on your knees.

5. Align the flow of water so that it hits your upper butt/lower back.

6. Adjust the angle of your back so that the water flows down the small of your back, into your butt crack, betwixt your butt cheeks, and over your butthole.

7. Imagine that the water is the gentle breath of a flutist. Err…actually, don’t do that. At all. Ever.

8. Fire at will.

9. Enjoy!

BENEFITS:

- Louder, more sonically diverse farts than ever

- Entertain yourself while you clean

- An exercise in multi-tasking

- Now available in Duck, French Horn, Hyena, Howler Monkey, and B#

- Odorously less offensive (Thanks, soap!)

- Child-safe

- Excellent sustain and decay due to the your bathroom’s natural reverb

- Fun!

POSSIBLE DISADVANTAGES:

- Built-in safety net (see: possible disadvantages)

- Attempts at record-breaking volume may lead to involuntary sharting (see: safety net-at least it’s not your bed)

- Slippery surfaces and excessive soap usage may lead to unexpected slippage which may lead to death

- Using this technique in jail may lead to rape

- Methane poisoning

- Failure to rinse properly may cause Itchy Butthole Syndrome (the other IBS)

- Wolves!

- Not available in left-handed

Now it’s your turn. Try it out at home. We give you our 100% guarantee that you’ll produce some of the most incredible sounds you’ve ever heard.

Happy farting!

Kids These Days All Play Synth And Become Tube Stars. So Sad.

A tale of two moments…

I arrived at the venue in a completely déjà vu fashion. I crossed Sunset Blvd. amid Friday rush hour traffic. In an almost mirror encounter from five months prior, I was greeted by Tom Keeley from Thursday. After thirteen years, he now knows me as a regular at shows on both coasts. We discussed the last few days on tour in California, and I warned him of the weather awaiting the band in Tempe, Arizona.

As we approached the tour bus, a young woman approached us. She asks the two east coasters if we are attending tonight’s show. Tom and I immediately looked up from the clueless one, stared at each other, smirked to our little inside joke, and Tom awkwardly responded to her inquiry with, “Yeh, I think I’ll be in there.”

Then Little Miss Oblivious asked if either of us had any extra tickets, to which we both apologetically sad no. I actually had a spare ticket in my pocket, however, due to the young lady’s musical faux pas, I pulled a little snobbish move and rather than give her my golden ticket, I deemed her unworthy, and kept the extra all to myself.

As we parted ways, Tom wished me a happy birthday, and I called to him saying I’d see him inside, adding a little additional singe to the ignorant girl’s clandestine burn.

____________________________

I was twenty years old all over again.

Eight years ago, a year after releasing “Tell All Your Friends”, the five founding members of Taking Back Sunday split down the middle. “TAYF” could be considered in the East Coast, and more specifically, the Long Island hardcore scene, one of the essential and most important albums of the great emo/post-hardcore movement of the early 2000s. Adam Lazzara, Eddie Reyes, and Mark O’Connell kept TBS alive with several line-up changes over the next eight years, while John Nolan and Shaun Cooper went off (with John’s sister Michelle) to start the equally amazing Straylight Run.

Eight years we watched both parties enjoy incredible success, but nothing matched the earth shattering effect their combined efforts brought about back in 2002. I wasn’t lucky enough to catch the original line-up back then; they divided by the time I made my Taking Back Discovery.

Then last night happened.

History.

I was twenty years old all over again. Standing there I watched in amazing as Taking Back Sunday took the stage and the crowd proceeded to lose its fucking mind. It brought me back to the days of basement shows and VFW halls. People sang so unbelievably loud, it was reminiscent of The Beatles performance on Ed Sullivan.

I haven’t seen five gentlemen/musicians have that much fun on stage in a very long time. Adam Lazzara owned the stage, dancing around inch of it like a young, however morose Mick Jagger. He spun the mic around the room, either throwing it out over the crowd, before reeling it back in or letting it curl around his throat like an electrical noose.

On the flip side, John Nolan was the straight man TBS lost for a very long time; the calm collected counterpart to Lazzara’s psychotic persona. After hearing John and Shaun Cooper reclaim all of the hits, I’m finding it hard to go back and listen to the songs written in between their tenure with TBS. As I listened to Adam and John go back and forth on excerpts from “Where You Want To Be” and “Louder Now”, the lyrics seemed to take on a whole new meaning. “I’m gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave… No, you won't ever get too far from me” now read as Lazzara assuring John he won’t let anything get in the way of their friendship ever again.

One of the more beautiful moments was when John and Shaun “lent” one of their Straylight Run songs to Adam, Eddie, and Mark, and the five brothers brought the house down with the re-imagined “Existentialism On Prom Night”.

Towards the end of the set, Lazzara ventured into the crowd, walking across spectator’s hands to the rear of the House of Blues Sunset, eventually scaling the sound booth to the balcony, screaming out “Cute Without The ‘E’ (Cut From The Team)” as he hung upside down, and the entire room, myself included, screamed along with him. I was twenty years old all over again.

Taking Back Sunday closed the night sending Adam abroad to the bar I was leaning up against, kneeling a foot from me, where he lifted up his voice to sing:

Best friends means I pulled the trigger… Best friends means you get what you deserve…

All Day I Dream About Sex

Growing up attending Catholic school, I obviously received no professional sexual education. That is, unless you count a priest teaching young boys about jerking off in the shower (“If the fluid of life comes out, just enjoy the feeling”). During the winter months in grade school we did have a few health classes, which tried to introduce our young minds to reproductive organs, however we were never taught the proper way to use their organs or keep them in perfect working order. In such a repressive environment, where you have children revolting at a younger age, you need to explain that kind of thing.

It’s 2011, and now my generation is getting older, and having kids of our own. We know kids will do whatever they want no matter what you instruct them to do. Instead of just drilling it into young minds premarital sex is wrong and you’re going to hell if you do it, tell them premarital sex is not a bad thing, but rather something you should wait on until you're older, and can make rational decisions, allowing time for their hormonal, developing teenage minds time to mature. Maybe that would've prevented some of my classmates from being parents before their high school graduation. (Also, premarital sex is obsolete. It's a term that only exists in the fictional world of religion.)

Luckily, Answer and Rutgers University decided to take matters into their own hands. Sex, Etc. is “sex education for teens, by teens”. According to the website:

Sex, Etc. is on a mission to improve teen sexual health across the country! Each year, five million young people visit Sexetc.org, and over 45,000 read our national magazine to get honest and accurate sexual health information. We've helped teens with answers to their questions about sex, relationships, pregnancy, STDs, birth control, sexual orientation and more!

Sexetc.org features 17 topic areas plus the following sections

• Stories written by teen staff writers and national contributors.
• Your Voice, Your Rights, which gives teens the opportunity to create a profile, share stories about sexuality education in their schools and speak up for the sex ed they want, need and deserve.
• “Take Action,” which gives teens the tools to advocate for comprehensive sex ed in their schools and communities.
• The Sex, Etc. blog—Beyond the Birds and the Bees—which addresses timely sexual health issues that are relevant to teens.
• Forums where teens can participate in moderated discussions with other teens.
• "Sex in the States," which is a state-by-state guide to teens' rights to sex education, birth control and more.
• Videos about sexual health.
• A Sex Terms glossary of more than 400 terms
• A mobile site that can be accessed on any phone with Internet access. It contains all of our FAQs, Sex Terms and Sex in the States information.

I was introduced to Sex, Etc. on this year’s Take Action! Tour. The tour’s proceeds are being donated to support the sex education movement and Sex, Etc. People are finally realizing the importance of instructing teens and young adults about being safe and realizing the consequences of their actions when it comes to safe sex. They’re no longer leaving the burden to be carried by lazy school systems and embarrassed parents. Sex, Etc. is giving teenagers a comfortable environment to go and discuss this new territory with their peers.

I find it unnerving to think in this day and age where sex is everywhere, there are still pockets of the country teaching abstinence as the only option. Teenage minds are constantly learning, exploring, and compiling information on the world, including being curious about their adolescent bodies. It’s inspirational to see a group like Sex, Etc. taking it upon themselves to not only give teens a place to go, helping them understand their curiosity, but also a space containing a lot of their sought-after answers.

And if parents don’t want to rely on a website and fellow teens to educate their children on proper sexual instruction and culture, maybe they’ll finally grow some balls, stop being so shy and self-conscious about it, and educate their kids their damn selves.

Shock and dismay, they affect what we say… We should bite our tongues, we should bite our tongues… 'Cause after all, it's only our lives anyway...

The Sweetest Place On Earth

When did Central Pennsylvania become a hotbed for underground music? I remember going to see a few shows in small, makeshift venues growing up (i.e. Godsmack in the City Island lawn-mower garage), but nothing like the sort of underground, independent post-hardcore shows I began attending once I moved to Philly. Hershey, Harrisburg, Lancaster; we were never at a loss for live shows to attend, but recently it seems more and more awesome bands are starting to come out of the area (and surroundings) I grew up in. I mean, we had LIVE and Fuel (meh, I know) who came from our hometowns, but nothing of the sort of music I have grown to love and adore. Please check out some of the awesome acts which have been forming the last few years.

BALANCE AND COMPOSURE - Doylestown, PA

Neighbors of one of my favorite bands, Circa Survive, Balance and Composure have been fighting to fill the hand-me-down shoes of bands like Brand New and mewithoutYou. Their most recent release, "Separation" finally solidifies this group with a voice their own, and leaves them equals with their forefathers.

TIGERS JAW - Scranton, PA

There's more to Scranton, Pennsylvania than Michael Scott and Royal's swimming fans (4-1-4 what's up!!!). While a lot of indie rock bands are striving to be weirder and more out there, Tigers Jaw are doing exactly the opposite: they're writing classic, catchy songs, reminiscent of their late '90s influences.

KOJI - Harrisburg, PA

Hailing from the 7-1-7, Andrew "Koji" Shiraki grew up screaming his lungs out fronting several post-hardcore outfits around central PA. Now, at age 24, he realized it's not how loud you scream, but what you say that holds the most water. Still retaining social justice and politics as themes in his lyrics, he's using his music to inspire both inner peace as well as build a new peace in the world around him.

KOJI - Giants Sleeping from If You Make It on Vimeo.

TEXAS IN JULY - Ephrata, PA

I recently had the pleasure of catching Texas In July killing it as the first opening act on this years Take Action! Tour in support of Silverstein and Bayside. Carrying on the metalcore torch, TIJ aren't tackling any new ground, but instead, bringing small town aesthetic to it. There are a few risky (and risque, me-yow) moments on the band's full-length debut being released on Equal Vision later this year. Still, fans of metal both old and new will certainly enjoy Texas In July for years to come.

AUGUST BURNS RED - Lancaster, PA

Most of you probably remember August Burns Red from the adorable video of Charlie playing drums to "The Eleventh Hour". What you might not realize is ABR has been tearing apart the metal scene for eight years, leaving few survivors in their wake. They are known for the ability to weave flowing melody in with incredibly brutal breakdowns and off-meter riffs.

There you go folks. Listen and enjoy.

The day is soon coming when turning your back won't be an option...

Change Is A Sound

I’ve been writing a lot about change over the last few months. The biggest reason is because over the last year I’ve been beginning to feel different. I’m starting to notice more about the world around me, feeling more grown up, but still keeping the “youth” aspect my family is known.

Change in a necessity in life; it helps people grow and become better people. If we always stayed the same, we’d run the grave risk of growing stagnant and uninteresting. I like when I notice a change in me, both positive and negative. Negative changes are obviously, not a good thing, but seeing these downward movements can often times lead to positive changes as well.

Geoff Rickly recently wrote about how the way he write lyrics has changed since he has grown up:

…I'm not a kid anymore and I don't think in the same ways that I used to. I don't push the band to go faster, use stranger time signatures or thrash harder. I write songs that turn inward now. Songs that rely on subtlety. Songs that are meant for headphones and car stereos. Songs that are experienced by one person at a time. Even when these songs are played in front of a crowd, everyone in the room will be listening to them alone.

Obviously, I’m not musician, but it’s weirdly comforting to see someone I not only look up to, but also consider one of my peers going through similar changes himself. I don’t have the musical platform he does to show off his growth and maturity and evolution. Personally, when I feel different, I like to make myself different. I get bored with who I look at in the mirror. I’m quickly approaching thirty, and I know I don’t want to hit July twenty-four with the same body I’ve had the last few years.

It’s time for a tattoo.

For me, as with most, tattoos hold personal meaning to the person who is getting their flesh altered. I like to take it one literal step forward: despite whatever the story is behind the artwork, the new addition acts as a reminder that at this moment in time, I am a different person. I am permanently changing who I am physically because internally I’m not the same Mallick who you hung out with last year. It’s an eternal timeline reflecting how many times I’ve gone through major transformations.

It’s almost an instinct when the times comes; my skin begins to itch, but it’s a bit stronger than the normal tattoo craving we are all warned about.

The world and it’s people are in a contact state of flux and you hope it’s moving in a positive direction, no matter what it make look like during the different stages of existence. Sometimes you notice these adjustments; the earth is forever altered. Sometimes its something so small it doesn’t have any noticeable effect; the person sports a newfound smile they only know the reason behind. I know when I begin to make a new impression and begin writing a new chapter in my life, I like to title page to have some nice artwork on it.

Reaching out for something, but we dunno what we need… As time slowly passes by, grey hair appears behind your eyes…

Your US Tax Dollars At Work

We still don't have an approved budget. And by "we", I mean the United States Government. How is it mid-April, and we don't have an official breakdown for government spending? I have an idea: maybe it's because we spend "our" money on frivolous things, like sending FBI agents and Secret Service men to follow a few punk bands around on tour.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 – Bad Religion was headlining the Electric Factory, one of the greatest concert venues in Philadelphia. Supporting, on their first national tour, was Rise Against, along with the fledgling band From First To Last, who were hand picked by Bad Religion to be part of the bill. The tour was called the “Rock Against Bush Tour” and was supported by Punk Voter.Com, an organization striving to educate young voters on the issues surrounding the upcoming election, and urge them to get out and vote. Oh, and they were trying to get those two dictators out of office as well.

Much like I have been prone to do in the past, I arrived at the show early to make sure I caught each act’s set in its entirety. I expected the usual when I approached the front doors: the men and women would queue in separate lines to be patted down. I would empty my pockets of their contents to make the pat down easier. I’d present my ID to get a wristband to enter the bar area, although I rarely ever drank at shows. I’d go inside, do a lap to see if any of the regulars were in attendance before finding the best vantage point to watch the opening acts and prime myself for movement into the pit.

This night, however, followed a different chain of events. The usual concert “Security” wasn’t guarding the door to the musical palace, dawning their yellow polo shirts. Tonight, there were men in black suits waiting to assist me with my concert experience. I felt a little uneasy. I emptied my pockets as per usual, but instead of being spun a hundred and eighty degrees for the normal frisk, I was told to put all my belongings in a bowl to be scanned by a metal detector. I was then asked to stand against a wall and “spread ‘em” (how cliché). I was examined so thoroughly that if I repeated the same routine outside of this situation, I would probably be slapped with an assault charge.

After I was stamped “safe” by a gentleman wearing sunglasses at night (who the fuck does that?), I was escorted to a table where I had to show my driver’s license to another man in a black suit. At this point, I realized something was up. My first thought was during a prior show, someone, somehow got a weapon in, past security, creating an unsafe situation, which served no legitimate purpose, and the E-Factory was taking all the necessary precautions.

I showed this next sir my driver’s license, which he wrote down every detail, asked me several times if this was my real address. It wasn’t technically; I still had my parents’ address on my license. I had to give them both of my parents’ full names before revealing my current residence. They tried to get as much of my personal information out of me before telling me to “enjoy myself.” I’ve never been more confused in my life. Why does the E-Factory care what my car’s license plate number is?

The show started and I put the weird greeting behind me. That was until Bad Religion took the stage. After their opening number, Greg Graffin addressed the crowd. He welcomed everyone to the show, thanked the opening acts, and thanked the masses for being in attendance. Who he thanked next brought everything out into the open and enlightened us all to what we were all a part of this particular night. He individually pointed out, by first and last name, each of the Secret Service agents who were keeping a close eye on the multitudes. I looked around each time he introduced one, feeling Big Brother bearing down on me more and more, and for the first time noticing the only yellow polo shirted “Security” working, manned the four corners and the front of the stage. Men in black suits had us surrounded.

Greg explained then-President (and I use that term loosely) Bush was worried the “Rock Against Bush Tours” (there were a few gallivanting across our country at the time) would insight riots; teenagers and young adults pouring out into the streets with (GASP) their own thoughts on politics, creating a world filled with anarchy. We were told Cheney didn’t trust the message Bad Religion, Rise Against, and Punk Voter were preaching, and had his men take down the names and personal information of everyone in attendance at these shows. We would all be put on a list to be kept watch over. Our “fearless” leader was scared; scared the youth would, for the first time in a very long time, stand up for what is right and just.

Newspapers and statisticians all claimed the tours had no effect at all on the young voter turn out from the previous election. What was left out, however, from all of these reports was the explanation of THE FACTS. The youth vote represented seventeen percent of the total votes counted, exactly the same percentage as the 2000 election. However, the 2004 election set a record for the greatest voter turn out for an election ever. To put it simply, seventeen percent of a greater number of total voters from the 2000 election, means more younger voters made their way to voter booths in 2004. I’d say whatever “we” did was a success. (And by we, I mean those of us wearing t-shirts sporting Bush’s ugly mug with “Not My President” printed underneath.)

This government action made me realize two things this night: 1). Bush & Cheney wouldn't have sent agents of the government out on this assignment if they honestly didn't think the "youth vote" was a serious threat, and 2). For the first time the power and drive young voters have in this country wasn’t underestimated.

Leaders, politicians, and power whores are in line to receive your choice… And you bet your ass, if you give it to them, they will gladly take your voice…

My Favorite Albums Of 2010

It’s been an interesting year for music for me personally. In Riley Breckinridge’s blog Hermitology I have found a new music guru to aid in my appreciation and discovery of new music. I discovered a few new muses in 2010, which has led the reach of my musical landscape to expand. I have felt for a while my musical taste has been broad, but recently it has grown in leaps and bounds. It’s a good mirror of how I’ve changed personally during those twelve months. The spectrum of sounds I fell in love with in 2010 covers a lot of ground. There are many more “lighter” bands and albums on this year’s list, but don’t be fooled, they aren’t any less epic than the fist pumping, head banging LPs which are synonymous with my taste in music.

Circa Survive – “Blue Sky Research”

With their third release, Circa Survive has figured out how to write traditional rock songs while not losing their signature sound. It was a challenge for me to get through “Blue Sky Noise” the first time. I thought I lost another one of my favorite bands to the cult of the major label. Growth is a hard thing to deal with for sometimes. I am however, a victim of my quick judgment. In time, some of the things that I disliked about the album and the band’s “new sound” grew into an understanding of where the band wanted to go with their music, and laid out a clear path to where they plan to trek next. There's no putting a nose up to the fact that Clear Channel might have a band worthy of their bullshit airwaves. There's certainly enough passion in “Blue Sky Noise” to show the masses where rock and roll and great songwriting can meet in a traditional compromise everyone can enjoy.

Frightened Rabbit – “The Winter Of Mixed Drinks”

When I have a variety of people telling me to check out a band, I usually tend to veer away from ever giving their music a chance. It’s the music snob in me, and it’s a bad habit I am learning to break one day at a time. I started with “Midnight Organ Fight” as instructed, and quickly realized my preconceptions of this band were very wrong. The songwriting on “Winter” is sharp and witty throughout, and most of their songs – with themes of escape, freedom and reinvention – have extremely impassioned choruses made to be shouted from the nearest available mountain.

Lewis Black – “Stark Raving Black”

Much like a catchy song makes you want to tap your foot to the beat, Lewis Black persuades you to see society his way. Whether you agree with his position or not, by the end of every album, you find yourself at least understanding where he is coming from, if not completely giving in to his gospel. Black does it again on “Stark Raving Black”, recording seventy-five minutes of pure irritation and pure comedy. Lewis is brutally honest in his jokes, and not more so then when he declares, “Our two party system is a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.” What makes Lewis Black the great topical comic he is (and my favorite comic period) is when he speaks, when you hear his voice, you not only hear the anger and animosity in his voice, but you become enraged yourself.

Underoath – “(Disambiguation)”

With their 2010 release, Underoath continues to progress. This is their first release without vocalist/drummer Aaron Gillespie, making it the first album screamer/growler/vocal beast Spencer Chamberlain has to helm himself. On first listen, “(Disambiguation)” seems a little out of place with the rest of the band’s library. The back and forth banter between Gillespie and Chamberlain is definitely something I miss. However, Chamberlain finds the balance in his own voice, volleying successfully between singing and low octave screaming, giving “Æ” a much darker feel. Underoath has evolved yet again. The more I listen, the more I find myself noticing the individual elements of the music, reminding me once more why Underoath is one of my favorite bands.

Good Old War – “Good Old War”

What makes this Philadelphia band so appealing, besides their classic folk sensibility, is the vocal harmonies utilized in their music. I had a crush on this band when they released “Only Way To Be Alone”, but now I am fully in love. The self titled contains songs like "That's Some Dream", which mixes solo vocals and group harmonies, a central acoustic guitar with an electric guitar coming in to play a solo in the bridge, and some honest lyrics, [“I know everyone would want me to say / That I'm not afraid to be alone / I'm gonna live, I'm all right / I'm gonna die, it's alright / I'm okay"]. “Good Old War” is one of the most real and personal collection of songs I've ever come across.

Norma Jean – “Meridional”

These Atlanta metal heads have found their niche. With “Meridional”, the band revisits their “Botch”-esque style the band often referenced at beginning of their career. It can’t be heard any clearer than on the album’s second track, “The Anthem Of The Dying Brides.” “Meridional” combines the more rock-style elements from Anti-Mother with old school “O’ God The Aftermath” they were playing at the beginning of their career. I believe Norma Jean finally found the “grown up” sound they were looking for, but realized getting older doesn’t mean forgetting the past, but building on it. This album can definitely hold its head up high right there with “Redeemer”.

2^ND RUNNER UP:

Menomena – “Mines”

I listened for months as Mr. Breckinridge discussed ad nauseum about how big a fan he was of Menomena and how he spun “Mines” forty-three times the first week he bought the album. After hearing a few tracks myself, I must agree, I was intrigued by the act. I went out and purchased the aforementioned album and after my first listen, I was as hooked as he was. Menomena exhibit creativity in their music not found in today’s musical gamut. Their previous outings can be compared to a child testing the cold water of a swimming pool, while “Mines” has the trio jumping full force into the freezing ocean. The band chooses each piece of the puzzle carefully before connecting them all in a completed song. Even the lyrics feel like they have been examined to the greatest detail. Regardless of how they're arranging their sounds, Menomena know how to balance them in a mix so that the listener can feel the spatial relationships between them. There's a lot of room for your ear to roam on “Mines”, and it is revealed over the course of your first few listens this is a very enjoyable album worth exploring and revisiting time and time again.

RUNNER UP

Bring Me The Horizon – “There Is A Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It. There Is a Heaven, Let's Keep It a Secret”

My first thought when I first spun “There Is A Hell…” was “Holy fuck. This album is really fucking good.” Everything about this band has improved on this album from the lyrics, to the songwriting, to the musicianship. As much love as I have for old school, I have give credit to Bring Me The Horizon for taking metal in an original direction. As young as they are, I've seen them live three times in the last year, and they can easily stand tall with the greats of heavy metal. A lot of heavier acts have grown into their own this past year and found their true sound, and BMTH have continued to build on “Suicide Season”, advancing further down the musical battlefield. One of the more surprising elements to this album is the guest-starring role of Lights on two tracks, “Crucify Me” and “Don’t Go”. You can’t really find two more contradicting vocal styles than Lights and Oli Sykes, but their dichotomy directly reflects the polarizing nature the album title suggests. Drew Beringer puts it best in his review on AbsolutePunk.net, “Debauchery was the general gist of ‘Suicide Season’, whereas some of the themes of ‘There Is A Hell…’ revolve around the consequences of that album.”

“There Is A Hell Believe Me I’ve Seen It, There Is A Heaven Let’s Keep It A Secret” will destroy all preconceived notions you had about Bring Me The Horizon. The aggression and passion bleeding from each track will stay with you for days, making this album an instant classic. This album cements the Brits' presence as one of the very best within the metal community.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Deftones – “Diamond Eyes”

The Deftones shelved their unreleased album, Eros, after bassist Chi Cheng was involved in a devastating car accident where he sustained serious brain trauma, which left him in a coma. The direction of the band was uncertain. Front man Chino Moreno stated:

[A]s we neared completion on Eros, we realized that this record doesn’t best encompass and represent who we are currently as people and as musicians… We needed to return to the studio to do what we felt was right artistically. Our inspiration and unity as a band is stronger than it has ever been before and we needed to channel that energy into our music, and deliver to our fans what you rightly deserve: the best Deftones record that we can make.

And they have done just that.

One of the reasons I love Deftones so much is because there is no other band like them. I haven’t come across one artist who I’ve ever described as “ sounding like the Deftones”. Along the same lines, I have heard many artists discuss their love of this band, but rarely have I ever heard anyone say they’ve tried to mimic the Deftones’ sound. Most likely: because it can’t be done.

The band produced an album that embodies the burden of a fallen comrade and expresses the aggressiveness and anger, which each member has to have endured over the last few years. Their take on metal continues to stretch the definition of the word. The soulful voice of Moreno effortless trades back and forth between ominous howl and bone shattering shriek. The flow of Stephen Carpenter’s guitar and Sergio Vega’s (Quicksand) bass makes one want to mosh and slow dance at the same time. Abe Cunningham’s killer drums and the beautiful fills of Frank Delgado’s samples and keyboards continue to push Diamond Eyes and the Deftones in a positive direction.

The members of Deftones could have done several things upon Cheng’s accident: called it quits, gone on indefinite hiatus, but rather, they chose to push on, creating maybe the best album of the career, and my choice as my favorite album of 2010.

To the edge til we all get off… I will take you away with me… Once and for all…