Within A Mile Of Home

The staff of The Hotel arrived in Venice five and a half years ago, during the summer of 2005. When it came time for Thanksgiving, the three of us decided it would be better to stay in Los Angeles for the holiday. We invited old friends and new friends and hosted our very first Hotel Homeless Thanksgiving – a celebration for all those who either couldn’t go home to family or decided against to sit down and eat a very large meal.

As a joke, I put together a call sheet listing the day’s schedule and what everyone was bringing, in case any of our attendees didn’t know what was happening that day. It worked out pretty well and the meal and the event was a complete success. Johnny and I basted the turkey a little too much, and the pan overflowed and caused the gas stove to smoke up something fierce. We couldn’t even see a foot in front of our faces the smoke was so thick. This began the tradition of Johnny, Roger, and I hosting Thanksgiving every year since (the call sheet has since gone the way of the dodo). Every year we have had different dishes, different attendees, and different after meal activities, but there was always one constant: one giant as turkey. Johnny hunts down the biggest turkey possible, with no regard to how many people were actually going to partake.

Traditions begin and end every year. Grandparents pass away, children move, relationships change – there are many reasons why traditions are born and die. For us, it was to save money since we had only recently moved into the new apartment. Tradition is a funny thing, especially when you watch one change. Every year on Xmas eve, my family eats the same seven-course meal. It’s steeped in Polish religious tradition. Sadly, once my grandmother moves on, the meal might not be cooked again, being replaced with different foods, with the single remaining bond being that we all sit down together as an extended family and enjoy each other’s company and gorge ourselves until we pass out watching ELF.

This was the last Thanksgiving with all three original members still living under the same roof. However, the tradition we all share, gorging ourselves to the point of paralysis, will most definitely continue on. Nothing can replace the fun we have waking up early to lather up a thirty pound bird with fake butter, sitting around watching football all day, baking dairy-free pumpkin pie, and making dirty jokes involving a thawed out turkey neck. The tradition may alter itself in someway, maybe the location, or one of us will have a family, but the central core ritual will always remain.

May your day be filled with a full stomach, the love of family, and company of friends.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

But take my advice; you'll have to bury me twice ‘cause the first time I won't rest easily… But don't let die still wondering what it was I left behind…

More Than Flashing Lights And Sound

(I started this piece back in September, but due to my emotional connection to this piece, it took me a little time to finish)

November 27, 1980 – September 19, 2001.

Nine years ago I lost my best friend – Alexander Randolph Spotts.

Around two in the morning, Alex decided to head home from a mutual friend’s house. He made a bad decision. He drove drunk. While on Devonshire Heights Road, he lost control of his Chevrolet Cavalier and slammed into a tree. The engine from his car was pushed up onto Alex’s chest where he slowly bled to death. He was pronounced dead at 4:58 A.M., dying less than a mile from my parents’ house. It is unknown if he was awake or unconscious during the hours the engine was resting upon my friend.

A few weeks before he died, Alex called with two tickets to see Stone Temple Pilots. Throughout high school, I rarely went to a show without him. This time I passed because I made the stupid mistake of going out on date with a really shitty girl. It was a completely forgettable person, and I say that because I honestly to this day couldn’t tell you her name.

I vividly remember the moment I found out about Alex. It was junior year of college. I was living in St. Theresa Court, which was at that point in La Salle’s history, the most “remote” part of campus. Around eight-thirty at night, I decided to call my good friend Suzanne to ask if she wanted to join me for lunch the following day. (Sue went to high school with me, so she knew Alex. She joined me at LSU, where I convinced her to join the rowing team. You’re welcome!)

Anyway, I called… When she realized it was me, she asked, “Oh hey, are you calling about Alex dying?”

“Excuse me?” I replied.

“Oh, you didn’t kno…” she trailed off.

I was walking out of the kitchen, where I froze mid-step. I was speechless. I lost all sense and went numb all over. I almost dropped the phone. I didn’t believe her. I spent the next hour calling every one I could think of to find out if it was true. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It was.

As if the news and stories surrounding the passing of my friend wasn’t enough, when I got ahold of one of my best girlfriend’s Jenna (who was also a dear friend of Alex), I discovered her mom had passed away the same day. She went into the hospital for dehydration where she mysteriously passed away when her lungs willed with blood and she drowned.

I lost my best friend and my best friend’s mom the same night.

I spent the remainder of the night sitting on the couch, clutching my legs sitting upright in the fetal position. A 3 Doors Down concert was playing on MTV (I was in shock). Eventually I tried to get some sleep, but it was pointless. I laid on staring at the bunk bed above me, fighting off tears, trying to think of anything besides what had transpired that evening.

Not to push off any of what happened with Jenna’s mom, but I definitely felt the affects of Alex’s passing much more. In fact, nine years later, I still get upset each year as his anniversary begins to roll around. I'm still not over his death. I can't seem to forgive myself for missing out on that last chance to spend time with him.

Alex was an amazing friend because we always brought out the best in each other. He was the instigator; he was the spontaneous one and often made me do things very uncharacteristic of myself. (We used to get our folks to call us both in sick on the same day, and then when they left for work, we'd ride our bikes to the music store.) In his memory, each year on his anniversary I try to do something great, something which breaks the monotony of my life, something inspiring because he’s not with me to experience it himself. I also like to spend this time with someone, who is extremely important to me. I want them know how important they are to me; I would never want to miss out on the opportunity to tell those vital people the affect they have on me and my life.

I’m a lucky guy. I have a fuck ton of amazing friends in my life, and I always try to do right by them. My friends come first, and they always will.

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal… Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel… My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands…

Transcendental Consequence

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I really have no excuse; only I haven’t found anything I really wanted to post about. I was going to rant a bit about the evils of Las Vegas a few weeks back, but the piece I began writing somehow went missing, so I abandoned the endeavor.

I turned twenty-nine this year, a pretty random birthday for someone who spends a month celebrating this yearly landmark. This year, I had the pleasure of spending my birthday holiday with both my dad and my sister. I’m so close to being thirty, a major milestone in anyone’s life. I can’t wait to reach it. I did however take a moment, like I do from time to time, and look at where I am in the universe.

In a previous post I mentioned how I have finally discovered myself. However, during the last year, I seem to have forgotten who you are as a person is continually in flux. I know who I am at my core, but the person as a whole, will always be a work in progress. Obviously, the person I was in high school is not the same person I was in college, and that person is far from the person you meet now.

I’m a runner now. I’ve done a marathon, and continue to race any chance I get. I ran a 10K in Culver in June. I plan on doing a half marathon in October, most likely in Long Beach. If you would have asked me ten years ago if I even wanted to go for a run, I wouldn’t cringed. Now I go out for an hour and don’t think twice.

Among the personal changes I’ve discovered this past year is I realized something I believed very strongly in, has now changed. Stuff I've adamantly written about here I no longer adhere to. I like to think it’s a positive change.

The main revolution came when I met someone who I saw spending the rest of my life with, even wanting to marry. A situation I never thought I would find myself in, let alone even considering. (Although others apparently knew I wanted it all along.) I realized the option of marriage could be a possibility in my life. I also now understand opening yourself that much to a person, especially if things don’t work out, can really destroy you. It almost makes me want to guard myself more, even if it means holding back on letting a significant other in.

I hope I’m wrong about this situation, and I hope I can find happiness with this person again. I’ve always been of the school that if you believe in something strong enough, life will steer itself in that direction.

Last year when I settled on who I’ve finally become as a person, the person I always wanted to be, the person I am completely happy with, I guess I lost perspective and became lazy. I need to continue learning and striving to become a better person. It took someone else to remind me and reinvigorate me to explore life again. I’ve grown as a person a great deal recently, and I have this person to thank.

Sometimes it’s hard for people to forget who you used to be, and sometimes they don’t like the idea of that person going away. I know friends from home who always want me to be that lunatic who took on any dare, regardless of consequences. They want me to tell them every sordid detail of my relationships, while I’m the person who likes to keep stuff like that between myself and whoever I am with. Maybe I lost a little of my edge. Maybe I'm just growing up

I thought I knew who I was. I lived for myself, always strived to make myself better. If I only take away one thing in my twenty-ninth year, it’s that I learned to live for someone else and because of this person I grew exponentially.

In the great words of Abed from Community: “When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal.”

I guess it’s nobody’s fault now but my own...

Epitaph Reissues REFUSED: The Shape Of Punk That Came

The following is an article in today's LA TImes. Refused's "The Shape Of Punk To Come" is easily my favorite album of all time. Epitaph has seen fit on this great day in history, to re-release this seminal album with a whole bunch of extras. If you've been living in a cave the last twelve years, read this great piece by August Brown on the band and the album which changed the punk rock landscape.



Refused wasn't the first punk band to incorporate drum machines and synthesizers (that would be Suicide), nor the first to turn hard-core's regimented song structures inside out (that would be the Minutemen). But they were the first to very seriously suggest that both of those things belonged in stadiums of thousands.

Released in 1998, "The Shape of Punk to Come" was as sonically ambitious as its title was fantastically arrogant. The album didn't just make room for free-jazz breakdowns, glitchy sampler wrangling and scalpel-sharp guitar interplay alongside Refused's noise detonations -- they made them inseparable and necessary to each other. But even more unexpectedly, the end result wound up sounding absolutely huge, maybe even with the potential of a "Nevermind" to bring brutal, innovative music to a very mainstream audience.

A three-disc reissue of "Shape," out today on Epitaph, underscores that potential, sadly never fully realized as the band broke up soon thereafter. "New Noise" still feels like a jock jam for Marxist eco-terrorists, "Summerholidays vs. Punkroutine" takes the dry-cleaned guitar licks of ESG and gives them Fugazi's fangs. The great irony of hard core is that, at heart it's an orthodox, conservative genre, and Refused was one of the few bands in that tradition that could capably upend it.

But the package's extras add some necessary context as to why Refused was both special and sort of doomed. The accompanying live album finds the band just demolishing a festival in its hometown of Umea, Sweden, while the accompanying documentary "Refused Are F- Dead" has a title as prophetic as that of "Shape." Ambitions like theirs often comes in a difficult personality, and singer Dennis Lyxzen is as flinty in person as his band is on record (and the band's members seem to know what fate awaits them the whole time).

That said, let this completely essential reissue be a hint to Paul Tollett's reunion-alchemy department that they would be really, really nice to have at Coachella 2012.

A naive young secret for the new romantics... We express ourselves in loud and fashionable ways...

Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums

I want to tell you about Anarchism.

I want to tell you what Anarchism is, because I think it is well you should know it. Also because so little is known about it, and what is known, is generally hearsay and mostly false.

I want to tell you about it, because I believe that Anarchism is the finest and biggest thing man has ever thought of; the only thing that can give you liberty and well-being, and bring peace and joy to the world.

I want to tell you about it in such plain and simple language that there will be no misunderstanding it. Big words and high sounding phrases serve only to confuse. Straight thinking means plain speaking.

But before I tell you what Anarchism is, I want to tell you what it is not…

It is not bombs, disorder, or chaos.
It is not robbery and murder.
It is not a war of each against all.
It is not a return to barbarism or to the wild state of man.

Anarchism is the very opposite of all that.
Anarchism means that you should be free; that no one should enslave you, boss you, rob you, or impose upon you.
It means that you should be free to do the things you want to do; and that you should not be compelled to do what you don't want to do.
It means that you should have a chance to choose the kind of a life you want to live, and live it without anybody interfering.
It means that the next fellow should have the same freedom as you, that every one should have the same rights and liberties.
It means that all men are brothers, and that they should live like brothers, in peace and harmony.

That is to say, that there should be no war, no violence used by one set of men against another, no monopoly and no poverty, no oppression, no taking advantage of your fellow-man.

In short, Anarchism means a condition or society where all men and women are free, and where all enjoy equally the benefits of an ordered and sensible life.

“Can that be?” you ask. “And how?”
“Not before we all become angels,” your friend remarks.

Well, let us talk it over. Maybe I can show you that we can be decent and live as decent folks even without growing wings.

(Alexander Berkman, Now and After: The ABC of Communist Anarchism)

One of my biggest pet peeves is people assuming since I don’t align myself with republican ideals that I'm a democrat. I’d like to set the record straight: I'm not a democrat. I think democrats are just as idiotic and awful politicians as republicans. In the great words of Lewis Black, “Democrats are a party of no ideas and Republicans are a party of bad ideas.” I’ve even become disgusted using the term “liberal” to describe myself anymore because of the lazy, hippy-ish type of people it now refers to.

It is my belief the United States needs to do away with the two party system, or at least incorporate a few more parties into the system. There are great political principles in other parties besides the big two. We need to be more like England or Canada in elections. It would be nice to see an election between more than the two parties who have the most monetary backing. I’m not political science major, but there should be a way to even the playing field; it might be something as simple as limiting the campaign season to one month like England, instead of our year-plus campaign trail.

I was a strong opponent again the “never-truly-elected-president” Bush. In this last election, I was against McCain, but not because he was running on the Republican ticket, but rather because I didn’t agree with a number of his policies. (I can give the guy some props too for taking time to appear on “The Daily Show” and holding his own.) Now, Obama was a better candidate compared to McCain, but not necessarily the candidate I wanted to run my country. He had a few policies I didn’t agree with either (ahem, healthcare). I didn’t vote for either one due to the simple fact I didn't really want either to run our country (I wanted Ron Paul to win). I don’t want you to think I wish any ill will on Obama or his presidential term. It is great to see an African-American in the White House. I think it's a huge milestone in our nation's history and I can get behind what he stands for and represents.

When it all comes down to it, personally I don't think it matters who wins. The president is a puppet who has lobbyists and billion dollar companies calling the shots. We should as citizens of this nation take a step back and look at our political system and realize maybe the type of president isn’t the change we need, but maybe the change is in our political system as a whole.

Disconnect and self-destruct one bullet at a time… What’s your hurry, everyone will have his day to die…

My Favorite Albums Of 2009

It’s that time of year again folks. It’s coming in way late, but due to last year’s lack of income, many of the albums I wanted to get under my listening belt didn’t make their way into my collection until early this year.

2009 was an amazing year for music. Many of the artists I listen to put out very inspiring albums this year, so narrowing my list down was a little more difficult than last year.

You may notice there are a few more popular acts not on my list. Rise Against’s “Appeal To Reason” is a decent album, but so far the least impressive in their catalogue. Hey, even Bad Religion put out an average album over their thirty-year history. Green Day’s “21st Century Breakdown” is a piece of shit. Easily the worst album they have put out; it’s almost as if the band members hoped their fans would forgive a sub-par album after their innovative “American Idiot.” I’ve been told the songs on the album make more sense when you go see the play based on “American Idiot,” but standing alone, it sounds like a group of junior high students wrote this album. It killed me not to put Kill Hannah’s “Wake Up The Sleepers”, Poison The Well’s “The Tropic Rot”, and CKY’s “Carver City” (which are all great albums) on the list, but after going over them several times, I feel like there was one little thing missing. To reiterate, there is nothing sub-par with these albums, I just didn’t feel like they stood out like the rest.

Much like last year, a couple of albums I listened to immediately caught my ear and rocked my mind, while a few others took a couple of spins to recognize their genius. This year I’m going to do things a little different. I’m going to give you a little review of each album on my list, supplying a little insight as to why they made my list, culminating with the runner up and album of the year. So without and further adieu, here are my choices for my favorite albums of 2009.

Whole Wheat Bread – “Hearts Of Hoodlums”

Utilizing the raw energy and cultural background these three African-American musicians bring to the table, WWB have released one of the best punk albums I’ve listened to in a very long time. Combining the spirit of Bad Brains with a slice of southern rap, WWB have changed the landscape of classic punk music. Instead of combining these two differing styles, WWB simply compose both style songs independently of each other, seamlessly bouncing back and forth between the two styles. Also, “Bombs Away” is easily the strongest opening track on any of the albums I will talk about this year.

P.O.S. – “Never Better”

P.O.S. does it again, pushing the boundary of what true hip-hop is. Flaunting his punk roots, within the first three minutes of “Never Better", P.O.S. takes stabs at the government, laughs at the recession, uses Macho Man as a verb, references The Dude, and shout-outs to his crew and his label. Like always, P.O.S. not only breaks the mold, but also shows the worlds of punk and hip-hop were never made in one.

Silverstein – “A Shipwreck In The Sand”

The last, great screamo band. I give Shane Told props for taking a massive creative step, penning the bands first concept album. Two paralleling stories weave through the album, one of a crew set sail on a course for the new world before getting lost at sea, and one about a family losing it’s dream of living in America when their house burns down. Silverstein does an amazing job writing aggressive and poetic music, bringing out the true emotion of the characters in the story.

Thrice – “Beggars”

I saw Thursday play last fall at the Glasshouse in Pomona. Geoff Rickly mentioned their band has been together for eleven years, equally as long as Thrice, and they promised to keep trekking as long as Thrice did the same. After the interesting concept album(s) “The Alchemy Index”, Thrice is back, pushing their sound to even greater lengths. You notice a definite grown up feel in “Beggars”, but Thrice draws upon a lot of the old emotion you felt on “Illusion of Safety” and “Artist In The Ambulance”. “Beggars” effectively showcases each musician’s talent greatly. If Thrice continues on this way (and brings Thursday along with them), they will definitely go down in history as one of the two greatest bands in the history of post-hardcore.

Alexisonfire – “Old Crows/Young Cardinals”

With three years off since their last effort, Alexisonfire is back as the powerful post-hardcore machine that they are. The one-two-three punch of vocals from George Petit and guitarists Dallas Green and Wade MacNeil has long-elevated Alexisonfire over many of their contemporaries, and “Old Crows” continues this long tradition. The most noticeable difference on this album is George Petit’s voice, which has been switched out from screams to a more grating vocal style. While at first, it’s a big jarring, but after a few spins, you find this new direction very comforting, and honestly, there is no loss of aggression or energy.

Converge – “Axe To Fall”

Hardcore at it’s finest. The melting of hardcore punk and metal, which Converge is known for, has matured greatly both lyrically and musically. Through everything that Converge brings to the table, there is a hint of order and meaning lingering in the background to each and every track, making for a remarkable album.

Every Time I Die – “New Junk Aesthetic”

ETID have done it again. I didn’t think a better, full-on fist pumping metal album could be written after “The Big Dirty”, but the boys from Buffalo pulled another one out of their ass. With each subsequent album, ETID has gotten better and better, and you think they can’t outdo themselves, and each time, they surpass themselves. Something about the energy ETID bring to both stage and album always drives me to thrash and run into a pit like a madmen.

Patton Oswalt – “My Weakness Is Strong”

It’s all there. Everything that made Patton Oswalt one of the best stand-up comedians of the last five years is all well accounted for on his latest album. There are moments of volatile enthusiasm and bewilderment that positively contradict his sense of bitter, aggravated disappointment with himself and the rest of the world around him.

Between The Buried And Me – “The Great Misdirect”

The way Between The Buried And Me composed their latest album is almost symphonic. The composition is divided into movements rather than songs. They followed up their masterpiece “Colors” brilliantly, again showcasing the talent encased within BTBAM. Perfectly balancing beauty with brutality, BTBAM give us another faultless album. It is musically the best album of the year.


RUNNER UP:

Strike Anywhere – “Iron Front”

“Iron Front” brings me back to why I fell in love with punk in the first place. Bursts of pure energy fueled with the type of political lyrics making one want to get up and make a difference; change the world for a better place for future generations. Strike Anywhere have found their niche as a punk powerhouse, and with each album, continue to point out the foibles of our government and society. Lead by Thomas Barnett’s commanding voice, “Iron Front” begins with some harsh Amerikan propaganda, “The blood for your freedom / The horror that you taught to them / To kill all your sheep / In the fold your power fades without control” (Invisible Colony). Strike Anywhere have produced an album, which not only resonates with history, but also gives a new future generation looking for their anthem, a home.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR:

Thursday – “Common Existence”

I had to do it. Honestly, if this album didn’t drop, Strike Anywhere would have easily won this award. With “Common Existence”, Thursday continues to pushes a genre of music forward. Instead of trying to mature with this new album, Thursday went back over their career, and the careers of their peers, and wrote an album which brings it’s listeners back to the classic era of punk and hardcore (and post-hardcore), while still evolving as artists. Thursday has composed their best album since their masterpiece, “Full Collapse”. Geoff Rickly has again written some of the most poetic lyrics of his career. To find the “maturity” in this latest release, the New Jersey quintet branches out to include a powerful political psalm, “Friends In The Armed Forces”, and even invoke the spirit of the legendary eNVy with “Circuits Of Fever.” Even aesthetically, the album artwork is a callback to the model punk cover: simple, black and white, of two nuns walking through construction scaffolding. Thursday has produced the most diverse album of their career, which is at the same time, of the purest albums of their career. “Common Existence” is one of the best arguments I have for Thursday not only being my favorite band, but also one of the greatest bands of all time.

They want to know which side you’re on… But it doesn't matter because we're all being used… To train, to fight… To disregard all human rights…

John Stewart Beats Me Again

Obviously I am not as timely and on the ball as South Park or The Daily Show. I wanted to write a rant targeting the group Revolution Muslim and their threat against Trey Parker and Matt Stone, but tonight's Daily Show beat me to the punch. Stewart covered every point I wanted to make, and did it in a way more entertaining than I ever could. Enjoy!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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